I don't know why I decided to post this. Haha. The requirement is a 3-page 1.5 spacing paper, so I might cut the personal last paragraph (it's still a draft, anyway). Probably a lot of typos and unchecked errors, but yeah. I hope whoever is reading this finds this useful as a GENDERS (if you're taking this up or some subject closely related) reference or as a movie review of Sayaw. Whichever.


        Ang Sayaw ng Dalawang Kaliwang Paa is one of the films in the Cinemalaya 2011 that uniquely touches socially relevant issues. The Dance of Two Left Feet, literally translated in English, combines the elements of music, poetry and dance in order to explore the concerns of feminism and homosexuality. The story revolves around three characters: Karen, Marlon and Dennis. Marlon and Dennis are both students of Karen, who is a feminist Filipino literature professor by day. However at night, she teaches and choreographs dance. Marlon develops a crush on his professor but he is embarrassed that he does not excel in her literature class. He is convinced that he could impress her by attending her dance classes. Knowing nothing about dance, Marlon seeks the help of his classmate Dennis. Dennis is a dance student of Karen and agrees to secretly tutor Marlon. These tutor sessions teach both students more than just about poetry and dance. This is the beginning of a seemingly love triangle story that abruptly and unexpectedly ends.

        The title of the movie explicitly states that it is a dance film, although the title could be a bit misguiding and unrevealing. According to Director Alvin Yapan, "[the film] drew inspiration from the idea of doing a choreography with nobody leading between the partners involved in the dance." It is not about two men who do not know anything about dance learn how to dance. Rather, it is about how two men dance. In a traditional ballroom dance couple, the man leads the woman with his left foot. This illustrates the stereotypical idea that a man leads and a woman follows. Also, the man is strong and active while the woman is weak and passive. However, the movie erases this stereotype because two males partner with no one leading the other. So, the two left feet mean two men dancing together, both supporting each other, and eventually discovering themselves in the process. 

        Since it is a dance film, the dances and performances of each character have deeper meanings. The choreography of the dance and the lyrics of the music must be analyzed in order to convey these meanings. Karen's solo dance at the beginning of the movie represents feminism. The steps were likened to blooming flowerlike movements, giving an opening outward force. One of the waves of feminism tackles on the analysis of oppression. Women are oppressed because they are caught in between and are somewhat trapped by society's limitations. Feminist movement is embodied by Karen's movements. Women should be given more freedom in the outside world so that they can bloom into their full potentials.

        On the other hand, Dennis' solo dance represents the struggle of masculinity. A particular line in the song strikingly goes, "Sa kaloob-looban, sa kasuluk-sulukan, nais kong mabatid ang lahat ng iyong tinangay at iniwan." The lyrics are complemented by Dennis' steps which include kneeling down, curling up and putting his hands over his head. So, the choreography is more of a closing inward force. It is somewhat emasculating; there is much feeling and emotion in Dennis that is waiting to be released. Masculinity is trapped in a man box, which stereotypically defines men to be violent, hateful and dominating. Manhood means power and anything less than fully manly is weak. In this performance, Dennis is weak since he dances out of jealousy and disappointment for Marlon. Still, his movements as well as the lyrics show that he keeps everything he feels inside. He is just like any other stereotypical man who is afraid of getting out of his man box.

        The audition piece of Marlon and Dennis was also a remarkable dance. The two dancers clash their hands together, bring it down, and suddenly release all manly energy. Then at one point, the dancers circle around each other and sort of end up in an embrace. The dance had a mix of hard and soft steps that both depict masculine and feminine traits. Marlon and Dennis are in competition against the other but at the same time express their concern for one another.  Furthermore, the lyrics had certain lines that also showed masculinity and femininity. "Namuo sa talim" expresses strength and violence, which are characterized as masculine traits. On the other hand, feminine traits were expressed in the line, "diyan ako naiwan, mahal," because of the caring and loving nature of females. However, the most interesting part of this scene was Karen crying to the audition piece. She was crying not only because it was a great audition or that she found the perfect piece. She was probably crying because she realized that there was something deeper going on with the two dancers. It is possible that they she sees them both connect spiritually and intellectually, not just in dance.

        The final dance was Karen's dance interpretation of the epic Humadapnon. Humadapnon (Marlon) was to be rescued from the seducing Tarangban women by his suitor. The suitor, Sunmasakay (Dennis), is a woman transformed into a man. The seducing and saving dance turns itself into a climax when Marlon looks into the eyes of Dennis. Slowly, a tear falls from his eye and he is liberated from the confines of gender. This abrupt ending is not an end in itself; it is just a new beginning for both Marlon and Dennis. They both may have discovered something about their own sexual preferences, but that discovery marks just a small part of the process. It is a lifelong process of self-acceptance that the two will have to experience together.

        Other scenes in the movie reveal discrimination and relate to feminist and LGBT matters. There was one scene where students were gossiping about their teacher Karen for being such a feminist. They stereotyped her to be a lesbian because she was independent and lonely. Also, another scene is of Dennis' subtle hints of gayness, when he would look in the eyes of Marlon or take a peek at Marlon shirtless. One other scene showed Marlon open the car door for a female, Karen, but did not open one for Dennis. This illustrates the idea that women are dependent and must be impressed. However, the more astonishing part of this scene was Dennis' reaction to his unopened door. There was also another scene where Marlon and Dennis were talking about one of their poems in class. "Nakatikim ka na ba ng kaymito?" They were talking about the white, gooey flesh of the fruit that has a double meaning in sexual terms. To ask that to a man should completely freak him out, because true men are supposedly homophobic. Lastly, Karen's literature class was discussing the poem "Kinukumutan ka ng Aking Titig." The thought provoking question she gave was that if a man loved a woman, would he think of her naked or clothe her in his mind. In today's stereotypical society, most men falsify their intentions just to see women naked. Women are objectified and are for sexual pleasures only. The poem is beautiful because it is apparent that this man respects the woman. He does not see her the way women are conveniently and usually represented as. In here, she is not the whore, sexy lady or the object of sexual desire. The man covers his vision of the woman because he knows she is more than that.

        In conclusion, Ang Sayaw ng Dalawang Kaliwang Paa is not about two aspiring dancers trying to learn the art of how to dance. It is about two dancers who both have left feet because no one leads the other, but they both end up understanding their sexuality in terms of poetry and dance. In a society where left must and can only be partnered with right, there must be adjustments made for the changing times where left can match with left. Society has dictated the roles of the two sexes, in concepts of what is truly masculine and feminine, and has remained traditional and closed about it. Feminists and LGBTs should be given more privileges and acceptance as well as men can have feminine qualities, too. Similar to how art frees people from the confines of conformists, the movie uses poetry and dance to breakaway from society's discriminating dictations in order to free men, feminists and LGBTs alike. This is the heart of Gender Studies, and Ang Sayaw ng Dalawang Kaliwang Paa hits the spot.

        The movie hits me personally. It is deeper and more intimate to me not only because I am a feminist (and I just want to breakaway with all these stereotypical feminine traits). But also, I had behind-the-scenes participation and an onscreen appearance in this movie. I can sincerely express how I felt the about the dances since I watched them being choreographed and learned by the actors. Also, I was able to rehearse some with them like Litanya and the audition piece. I was lucky enough to be one of the Company of Dance Artists to be a part of this movie, dancing as one of the epic dancers (specifically, the spear girl). At first, I really did not know what the movie was all about because I thought it was all just contemporary and ethnic dancing. Instead, it used that as a tool to convey its very deep message. It's not a film that a lot would appreciate, but for me, it did more than just that. Indeed, it empowered me, opened my mind and improved my understanding. It has affected the way I regard and approach feminist and LGBT concerns.

References:
Cabrera, W. (2011, July 11). Ang sayaw ng dalawang kaliwang paa (Yapan, 2011). Retrieved on July 22, 2011 from Cabrera's Website: http://melikesart.blogspot.com/p/about-will.html
Mendoza, A. (2011, July 25). Ang sayaw ng dalawang kaliwang paa touches on feminism and homosexuality. Retrieved on August 3, 2011 from Philippine Entertainment Portal Website: http://www.pep.ph/guide/indie/8557/pep-review-jean-garcia-rocco-nacino-and-paulo-avelino-topbill-film-that-touches-on-feminism-and-homosexuality
Yapan, A. (2011, July). Notes on the choreography for ang sayaw ng dalawang kaliwang paa. Retrieved on July 22, 2011 from Runthru Dance Magazine Philippines Website: http://www.runthru.com.ph/home/features/notes-on-the-choreography-for-ang-sayaw-ng-dalawang-kaliwang-paa


Hit three birds with one stone. Movie check, final paper check, incentives check. And yaaay, one final requirement done and a sivuabwhyetiuohy to go. That's all.

I have been dreaming and thinking. What if there was something that I was supposed to do that I wasn't able to? What if I missed the littlest thing that would trigger the one of the most important events that could possibly ever happen to me?

So today, One Ten, Tracie and I (and Carlo, kinda) played a secret little game of serendipity. We were laughing the afternoon off with sweat and fate -- walking back and forth, riding up and down as discreetly as possible. We may have looked like weirdos but we're really just believers, seriously hoping that this random act of serendipaciousness would turn into something pleasant. If we're meant to be picked up, then we would be.

That's all.

Believe me when I say I feel like my heart just got out of my chest and just got pounded on (with the matching action of laying down an invisible heart on the table and pounding on it). Flattery. I've been flattered a few times quite recently and it's been nice and uplifting. I guess that's it -- probably why I feel more interesting myself. 

Ten Favorite Flattering Instances

1. "You're from Poveda, right?"
Okay, I'm not really sure whether to take this as a compliment or an insult. Apparently, I look like someone from Poveda (good thing?). I just left it at flattering.

2. Friend: Nina, remember my blockmate that I introduced to you before?
Me: Ah the one who likes my soccer shoes?
Friend: Turns out he likes more than just the shoes!

3. Me: Agh. Bangs.
Friend: Keep your hair that way cause people notice!

4. "My friend thinks you're cute."
Feels good.

5. "My mom says you're cute."
Feels even better hahaha.

6. "This is my friend, Nina S. She can split."
This is the most what the hell way of introduction that I've been in. I'm not even too sure what to think of it. I hope that person remembers my name, not the splitting part (err which I can't do HAHA).

7. I can't type the exact words here but it's some text sent under intoxication. It's thaaat flattering; however, it's funny at the same time. This instance goes perfectly with the song Nothing - The Script. Depending on the point of view, this song actually hurts or is just mean. In my point of view, it's flattering and funny cause I said... nothing. Yeah, nothing serious. Life's fun; it's even more fun to laugh it off.

8. "Wow beauty and brains, huh?" --PERSEF1 Prof, 091410
Ultimate feel good first impression! My face just lit up like a candle.

9. "That has got to be one of the most intelligent answers I have heard all day." --KASPIL1 Prof, 092710
September was a good month. Haha. It was one of those circular discussions (nearing senseless) and I just raised my hand to say what I was thinking. My answer made sense, I got that compliment, and it just made my day.

10. Any random appreciative comment about my non-existent abs (it's just a thin stomach) or about being kinda like a boy. Note: Being batak does not count. Nice calf muscles ba? Dude, if you like it then I'd gladly give you some.

Wow, what a feel good post. Let's face it, it's really nice being appreciated. Although I feel super nice and awesome right now, I don't let it get to my head. Heads just have the tendency to overthink. I just like to keep 'em coming so I can continuously pound on the table. One more thing about flattening experiences: they erase and let you forget about some frustrations. That is exactly why I wrote this.

Bummer. I need a gmk. HAHAHA! That's all.

I kind of wasted this day with my iPod (and Noreen's headphones) on shuffle while reading Tumblr and blogs, which actually led me to the idea that maybe I should really blog again! Well, I never really stopped blogging but I'm thinking of updating more often. Plus, I want to write in legitimate and complete idea sentences. Yep, no more of those informal and vague entries. I'm inspired to write 1) because I suck at it, 2) because I want to be better at it and finally 3) because it's quite fun looking back...

...looking back to Tuesday, December 7, 2004.
Good thing there's this old alley (eskenita!) that I can always look back to.

So let me try to put on a few new rules for myself here:
1. Write in correct, complete, thoughtful sentences with a few occasional fragments.
2. Less Taglish!
3. Maybe consider typing badwords for the feel of it (because badwords only stay in my thoughts).
4. Lessen extensive hahaha's and other emotion combinations achieved by changing the vowel.
5. Hmm, maybe consider typing a few smileys.
6. Less on the elongateeeed letters. They sound good when I say them in my head, but sometimes stupid when you read them again.
7. Share a currently listening song/album. Like the pure awesomeness of S.C.I.E.N.C.E. right now.
8. Write insights (yuuuck)
9. Really really try to do guideline #6. Hahaha! And #4. Okay.

Well, let's see how this goes. I'm not promising myself anything here, but I think it's more of me challenging myself. By the way, I'm still ending with the classic "that's all".

Hence, that's all.

P.S.
I'm kind of sure that no one reads this anymore anyway, so I can write about a crapload of whatever. Plus I am not advertising this.

i'm still high. i was able to achieve two of my goals (that i thought i would never get to do, they just sounded so good in an entrance essay) aaand i was able to fulfill a promise (see yaz up there). coked, stoked, hyped, alive, surreal -- a big bunch of thankyouhan's and salamatine's!

anyway, this freaking beats my green nooka. can't get any wittier than john mayer. look what i just got... no, not the brand new rolex green dial/green bezel submariner, ya goof. jm silly bandz! available beginning tonight. one of these are worth at least half a dozen dolphins or bunnies. HAHA. i never really liked those rubber band animal things but these ones are real sweet. i didn't really wish anything for xmas, but this definitely makes it on my non-existent list. dear santa, jm bandz plz! (or a new green watch hahaha). okay, that's all.

actually, i don't know. it might be fun to look back to this and read about what i wrote about my previous profs. might be fun. or not.


first term
2010-2011

sir freitag - scienvb
my first ever german teacher! he's a lecture guy who does all the talking and only asks for a little participation. his group works and outside activities (tree planting and field trip) are the best.

sir torneo - polisci
"ART" hahaha. the best and chill-est. no tests, just all papers and (creative) group works. i miss that subject. ah ah gotta recite and participate a lot in his class.

sir homer - ntropsy
consistently a paasa free cut teacher. tipong 25-29 minutes past start time ang arrival time. not so heavy group work activities. just midterms and finals for test. chill na rin!

sister melani - tredone
my first ever sister teacher! suuuper nice, but i'm really just not a fan of the subject. gives similar to high school requirements kind of prof.

ms balane - comp1ae
nice and approachable. chill workload, but really gotta do it well. plus there's extra time for random online shiz!

dr. perez - comalge
HAHAHA! resist the urgeee. well, teaches legit step by step and writes super big on the black board that he has to erase it all the time! (counts the x's when x is raised to something too) assignment: don't submit! cuttable, but gotta return for the last ten minutes of attendance. hmm, chill tests too!

ms bautista - fwteams
SOCCER! best pe eveeer! aww field. basta, just play well and get her to know your surname. calls me by my surname all the time, and boom 4.0!


second term
2010-2011

latoja - econone
first impression: "class i'm never late". kaya pala eh, rarely attends class. hassle make-up class schedules. teaches in a short cut method and talks with sarcasm. freaking instructions. geez, makes me think of dropping my course. overall gives me a bad impression of eco.

dr. hernandez - kaspil1
this guy is a lot like the filmmaker michael moore (HAHAHA). yeah, this guy is all lecture but they all make sense. he makes you think! just gotta make sure to listen and not fall asleep. this guy gives essays as homework, but his grading system for essays is: 0 5 10. sooo, kailangan swak sagot with proof.

sir villacorta - englcom reading
fuuun discussions! he plays along with the class hahaha

ms masangya - englcom language
always connects to relevant topics but nakakasawa na rin. one sheet of yellow pad everyday activity! but whatever, she makes sense sooo yun.

ms. jemelyn go - actbas1
she deserves to be called by her full name hahaha. really teaches accounting very well but talks really really fast so you can't take a banyo break. has a freaky smile going on, but you should not allow her to lose it. she had an anger management incident with a few of my blockmates, but i was in the bathroom (the only time i peed during actbas and had to be that pa)! anywaaay, actbas is actbas.

ms. sonia tan - busmath
terror prof pero super galing magturo! mabait pa! super nice notes too! hassle lang that you can't take a banyo break during her class or else you'll miss a lot (mga 1000 words per minute)! earned to be one of my favorites hahaha. gives hard tests, but at least she really taught the lesson well before the test. you just gotta work hard on your own and you'll get what you deserve. sooo motherly how she made 'abono' the photocopied practice sets. hihi

sir vallar - scienvc, lbyenvc
nakanang chill! parang tatay. bumebenta yung jokes paminsan haha. pero yun talaga, chill! best lab instructions ever: "download, print, bring to class. yung iba nakakalimutan yung 'bring to class' eh so sinulat ko na dyan!"

sir rj - persef1
owner of la salle. he has a nice and interactive way of interpreting a persef class. it's a nice break time from all the other subjects. it's like having a 'reco' every week, in rainbow colors! HAHA

sir bernales - fwsport
judo! (soccer pa rin eh) fun at times, sweaty all the time. really teaches the basics, so you really do learn. okay siya, may pedo vibes lang some times.


that's all (for now). many more terms and profs to come!